Uh-oh! Is this one of those formatted poems that I used to teach. No, don't take that the wrong way: it's a delight to read and feel: not unlike a perfect haiku. Just wondering.
Willie, Not meant to be an haiku. Posted poem this a.m.--long version. Hacked it down to its present form thru the day. Maybe it's a Ukiah. Didn't you invent the Ukiah? Is it one? Geo.
i never accused it of being a [sic: an?] haiku but something structured like that but definitely okay in its own formalistic structure. The Ukiah? I don't think I was the first to see that haiku/ukiah resemblance back in the '60s but it -was- there! Especially since my Italian grandparents and my father had live near there in Calpella!
Well! Since aspirates are generally preceded by 'an' over 'a' I think "an haiku" is A honest mistake. As I recall, haiku is 5-7-5 syllables except in Ukiah where it's the other way around. Geo.
Original contained 43 words. There are only so many times one can make a hoop jump thru itself before it disappears. I think I learned that at the DMV, or from a narcissist. Poem now contains only 9 words, one jump from non-existence.
Uh-oh! Is this one of those formatted poems that I used to teach. No, don't take that the wrong way: it's a delight to read and feel: not unlike a perfect haiku. Just wondering.
ReplyDeleteWillie,
ReplyDeleteNot meant to be an haiku. Posted poem this a.m.--long version. Hacked it down to its present form thru the day. Maybe it's a Ukiah. Didn't you invent the Ukiah? Is it one?
Geo.
Oh, Geo.~
ReplyDeletei never accused it of being a [sic: an?] haiku but something structured like that but definitely okay in its own formalistic structure. The Ukiah? I don't think I was the first to see that haiku/ukiah resemblance back in the '60s but it -was- there! Especially since my Italian grandparents and my father had live near there in Calpella!
Well!
ReplyDeleteSince aspirates are generally preceded by 'an' over 'a' I think "an haiku" is A honest mistake. As I recall, haiku is 5-7-5 syllables except in Ukiah where it's the other way around.
Geo.
Ha! And this revision...I like, but now i can't remember the original....
ReplyDeleteOriginal contained 43 words. There are only so many times one can make a hoop jump thru itself before it disappears. I think I learned that at the DMV, or from a narcissist. Poem now contains only 9 words, one jump from non-existence.
ReplyDelete